I was in a long term relationship before and BOY I was the Queen of settling lol. Just kidding okay maybe not..I feel like I knew I wasn’t happy in that situation and I stayed because it was comfort zone. I was already 3 years in, then 5 years in before you knew it, it was 8 years and it’s like okay who wants to start over. There’s were periods of time when we weren’t together and I’d date and not that I didn’t like other guys. It was the hassle of having to go through that whole process of getting to know someone new. You know how that goes right the 21 question game starts “ what’s your favorite color “ “what’s your favorite food” stuff lol. So of course instead of repeatedly going through this why not just stay with who already know you right ? WRONG!
Yeah my ex knew me but I wasn’t happy. Did we have happy times yes, but I wasn’t happy all around..We had a lot of trust issues that would cause us to argue most of the time. We both started doing unhealthy things in our relationship and I saw things crumbling but I still stayed. Our communication was so bad at one point I literally remember us speaking once a week if that. I was cool with it he was cool with it but let’s be honest is that a good relationship. Hell no.
One day I had like a eureka moment and was like I have to get out of this lol. So that’s what I did I started rebuilding myself. Focused more on school and just things that I wanted to do for myself. I think he saw that I was done and couldn’t handle it every other week he’d be on my phone with the I love and miss you crap. Let’s work things out but I was not with it. He even had a girlfriend at one point and was still on me trying to “get back together”. It was rough not falling back into that trap but I just knew it was good for me or him.
I did move on eventually and honestly the guys I dated showed me there was more out there. People who will treat you better and show you better. I think what’s it’s important is knowing that you are better. You are worth more. DO NOT SETTLE! I know that the fear of the unknown will often leave us stagnant. However if I can motivate, inspire or encourage anyone not to settle then I will. I stepped out on faith and trust me I’ve never been happier. I took time to relearn myself. What I wanted and didn’t want. I learned my boundaries in relationships and I also set the precedent for how I wanted to be treated.
So again just remember don’t settle there’s more out there. Even if they tell you there isn’t, trust I’ve been there I know!
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